So basically, im in the middle of nowhere. also know as masonvill, upstate NY. nothing like the wonderfully charming capital of the world New York. No no no. this is Hicksville, my dears.
okay. so a portion of every damn summer since i was about 8 years old, has been spent in this damned house. now.. i dont like this place.
and i have made that point very clear over the passed few years. pointedly refusing to get in the car on the trips here. but being dragged in on a number of occasions both emotionally and physically. Now. i asked my mother. no.. i pretty much begged the woman who gave birth to me some measley 15years ago to let me celebrate my birthday in wonderful NJ. she took my anger to account for once in her life and decided 'Sure, why not." i was ecstatic.
well surprise surprise, mummy had kept her word. the weekend before my wonderful date of birth my mother adorns me with the wonderful news that i will stay in new jersey for my birthday as promised.. i'll just be leaving the next morning is all.
Nice birthday present mom, thanks alot.
however, seeing as this news highly upsets her first born daughter, my mother calms me down with the promise that i will remain only two weeks.
whatever.
that brings me.. here.
i havent been here two weeks and i feel both physicall and mentally ill. my allergies are going to kill me out in the end, im sure. i've taken about 3benadryls which have YET to kick in. and my eyes itch to a point where if i rubbed them any more, the swelling would do permanent damage. my nose has not only been stuffy. but constantly bleeding for some irksome reason that i am highly unsure of. along with all of this i have gone into mope mode. which means i have spent the passed 12days locked up in the confines of the room they have spared me. rereading harry potter books and staring at an odd stain on the ceiling. or the unders of the quilt. i get up only for purposes that recquire a kitchen or bathroom. i feel dreadful. however, that is not the icing on the cake my dear friends, because the icing on the cake is this...
i am here under supervision that im sure prisoners deserve and/or recquire because my dearest grandparents are under the impression that the jersey life style is no life style for a boy-crazed teen. hah! beat that, nontheless eat it, for it is the icing on the cake.
Hmm, it feels wonderful to know that one tiny mistake has gotten me here to this place i dread so. yes one minor flaw in my utterly wonderful plan. had they not seen a 17year old stuf muffin outside my friends house at the party that she was holding while i stuck my head in the car to kiss him, i would probably not be in this predicament. ahh all is fair in love and war, right? however that applies here in its own sick way i am unsure of, but it is the only reason i have yet to stab myself in the leg with a fork. because seeing as the elderly of my family are under the mild impression that new jersey will bring nothing to me but sex, drugs, and gang banging males i am watched over by hawks. constantly interrogated on who i am speaking with and the biography of that person..
oh yes wait..
sorry. they were asking whether i was speaking to anybody. well..honestly, everytime i pick up a phone it is the same questions, unless my answer however varies from. 'a friend, no you dont know her, yes it is a her, get away from me please.' then a new wave of inquisition springs up and i am .. well here.i like my home.. i like seeing people besides the ones i am living with. i have seen nobody. i have done nothing. i have enjoyed no time being here. i dislike this place with such gusto i feel that only drugs can help my subconcious to stray from the idea of burning the damn place down. i fear for my sanity..
oh yes, my friends, there is more.
mummy dearest called the other day. and i asked her at what time she would care to pick me up, she was unsure.. because the 9th was far enough away for her not to care.
wait. the ninth? are you kidding me? i was under the strict impression that i would be leaving the second as promised. but no.. she pushed that promise away from me rather smoothly saying she had promised her parents she would stay for that weekend. that specific weekend. that weekend that would leave me here a week extra, so that i can become even more depressed.
i want to go home, even if in that house that i call home dwells the very reason i am here.
7.31.2008
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